Apropos of Nothing

— When it rains, people remark "Dapat di na umuulan. Summer na eh."

— You remember that you bought a really cool swimsuit last year and start praying that it still fits this year.

— You curse all the excesses of the pre-holiday fiesta, the holiday binges and post-holiday indulgences.

— The barbecue tongs and forks and skewers that you got for Christmas actually makes sense now.

— You are more thirsty than usual and the search for the ultimate refreshing drink is on.

— You ponder on your requirements for the best halo-halo combination - including how many red beans exactly should be added.

— Gumamela prints are everywhere. Fashionable na naman si Mayor Atienza. We also remember with fondness the late Senator Raul Roco.

— Sunglasses are used - this time primarily for its main function. Add-on na lang yong porma factor.

— You lament the lack of good beaches within an hour’s drive from Manila.

— You wish Pasig River is not toxic enough to swim in.

— All FX cabs have malfunctioning aircon.

— Malls (specifically the ‘free’ AC) are truly appreciated. Sana huwag ma-delay ang pagbukas ng Mall of Asia this May.

— You actually get up earlier to be at the office earlier — as a cost cutting measure for your electricity bill.

– You take a bath more than once a day.  For some, it’s actually now once a day instead of the usual once a week.

— Mangos in all sizes and shapes are abundant and cheap

— Lent na. Nakakalimutan mo na naman na DAPAT HINDI kumain ng karne kapag Biyernes.  Preferably maalala mo ito bago mo ma-order, makagat at malulon ang tosilog mo from jolibug.

— Holy Week na. Naaalala mo na naman si Rico Yan - lalo na ngayong bagong kasal lang si Claudine at Raymart.

— Nagpapaturo ka na naman ng Act of Contrition at paano mangumpisal. Gawa ka ulit ng kodigo ng mga kasalanan. Maalala kaya ni Father kung pareho lang yong sins mo last year?

— The oft-repeated question of the day is — Where’s the company outing?

— Kasama sa iyong pagmumuni-muni ang katanungang ito - anong kulay ng neg-neg kapag na-sunburn?

Have a good summer everyone! Stay cool!

I follow Butch Dalisay’s column that appears every Monday in Phil Star.  When I dream of writing, he is my measure.

When I was an Isko, I attempted to take one of his English classes but being a Stat major that time, I was least priority among the creative writing people who lined up for his classes. Reading his column and now his blog gives me the opportunity to learn from this great man.

Enjoy his blog — “Pinoy Penman” at http://homepage.mac.com/jdalisay/blog/MyBlog.html.

The Greatest

Written By: Don Schlitz

Recorded By: Kenny Rogers

Album: She Rides Wild Horses

Little boy, in a baseball hat

Stands in the field with his ball and bat.

Says, "I am the greatest player of them all"

Puts his bat on his shoulder and he tosses up his ball.

And the ball goes up and the ball comes down

Swings his bat all the way around

The world so still you can hear the sound,

The baseball falls to the ground.

Now the little boy doesn’t say a word,

Picks up his ball, he is undeterred.

Says, "I am the greatest there has ever been"

And he grits his teeth and he tries it again.

And the ball goes up and the ball comes down

Swings his bat all the way around

The world so still you can hear the sound,

The baseball falls to the ground.

He makes no excuses, he shows no fear,

He just closes his eyes and listens to the cheers.

Little boy, he adjusts his hat,

Picks up his ball, stares at his bat.

Says,"I am the greatest, the game is on the line"

And he gives his all one more time.

And the ball goes up and the moon so bright,

Swings his bat with all his might

The world’s as still, as still can be,

The baseball falls and that’s strike three.

Now it’s suppertime and his momma calls,

Little boy starts home with his bat and ball.

Says, "I am the greatest, that is a fact,

but even I didn’t know I could pitch like that!"

Says, "I am the greatest,that is understood,

but even I didn’t know I could pitch that good!"

"Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em."

I got reunited with The Gambler tonight. I grew up with that voice blaring from our tape deck. His gravely voice is very much in the soundtrack of my childhood. Thanks to my father who is a big music fan of his generation, I learned by heart the lyrics to Coward of the Country, Lucille, Don’t Fall in Love with a Dreamer, Ruby, Lady, Islands in the Stream, and of course, The Gambler.

The last time the guy caught my attention was sometime in the 90’s when Kenny Rogers Roasters opened in Manila. I loved the chicken, the choices of side dishes and the wallet-friendly price. For a while, it was my favourite treat place. I did not know exactly if the guy even cooks but it was enough for me to hear his songs and look at his pictures and plaques while I eat my chicken. Needless to say, I love the guy.

Towards the end of the 90’s, a highly respected colleague told me that Kenny Rogers is a wife beater. I often verify things before believing but I have very rare chance to Yahoo that time. Since it’s show business and my informant seems to have no apparent reason to make it up, I believed the gossip. Since then, I steered clear of Roasters as much as I can. I could not stand listening to any of his songs. Can you imagine listening to him sing "But she has faith in me and so I go on trying faithfully and who knows maybe on some special night, when the song’s right I will find a way .. " - with a picture of a beaten woman on my mind? Too much.

This maligned image of the man made me miss a really good song that he released in 1999. I heard "The Greatest" only tonight on a dibidi-dibidi copy of "Kenny Rogers Live By Request". Simple lyrics in undeniable music - I knew I liked it as early as the first stanza. Wanting to believe in the guy again, I checked on Yahoo (and Google too for good measure). I searched on "Kenny Rogers spouse abuse" and "Kenny Rogers wife beating". The most mud I got on him was an article saying that he had been using a false name in his legal documents. He had consistently signed himself as Kenneth Ray Rogers. Someone sent him his birth certificate that says his real name is Kenneth Donald Rogers. Seems like he was totally unaware of his proper name. He was joking that that he is now wondering whether he has ever been married. (Hmmm .. he was married five times.) Further search results point to another mistaken identity. There is another famous Kenny Rogers who had been known to be violent. He is a pitcher for the Texas Rangers.

With the domestic violence out of the picture, I am looking forward to getting a copy of his 21 greatest hits due to be released on January 2006. You can’t beat the soundtrack of your childhood.

Halloween is not a common practice in my hometown.  In all my childhood, I can remember only one Halloween Party.  It was held inside the Baptist church which has been transformed to a haunted house by the mere posting of black cloth in the windows and turning off all the lights. I vaguely recall some "ghosts" and one or two horrific masks. I remember more the giggling of my elder sister and her best friend - due to the cute son of the pastor and some other boys in the vicinity. I don’t know if I enjoyed that party or not.  I just remembered it being very strange.

Unfortunately, the absence of a Halloween celebration did not exempt my hyperactive imagination from feeding. Horror movies more than made up for the lack of ghoul in my life.

I must have been barely ten years old that summer. An enterprising aunt went around showing movies in town halls and school auditoriums. Considering that the nearest cinema is at least an hour’s drive away, that venture must have been good business. Well, it should have been good business - if not for the number of nephews and nieces who gets to watch the movie for free. I settled in quite comfortably in a school chair and watched eagerly as "The Exorcist" rolled on the screen. I had no idea what the word meant and my aunt’s bootleg operation must have escaped any MTRCB grading system at that time. Thirty minutes later, I was running home. My heart was pounding and my eyes stinging because I could not even blink. Both my head and my stomach ached miserably. I ran past the high school, the elementary school, the town hall, the prison, the courthouse, the judge’s house, the market and finally to my mother’s arms. She had to make me drink a whole glass of milk before I calmed down enough to tell her that the girl’s head turned - like all the way around! - and that  something is on her tummy - writing on her tummy from the inside! - and her voice - that voice is NOT her voice!

It was years later - after college - that I was able to finally face up to that movie. There were two or three earlier attempts but I had to reach full adulthood before I was able to watch the movie from start to finish.  Last year, my husband and I watched the sequel to the same movie and I was ok (though my husband was not … hehehe). It helps that the storyline and the special fx were blah. Thankfully, the Hollywood curse regarding sequels still works.

Maybe it was that untimely exposure that I avoid horror movies as much as possible. One of the major quarrels I had with my then new bf (now my husband) was when we watched "Event Horizon". In fairness to him, he also thought it was a science fiction movie. To this date (at least six years later), I still remember the crew scratching each other’s eyes out.

Recently, you can catch me quickly switching channels over the trailer of ‘The Haunting of Emily Rose’. Last month, we have come into possession of a dibidi-dibidi (crack DVD) which contain 6 movies (in one disc) called the Nicole Kidman Collection. I will not be maximizing the bargain because I will be watching only 5 of the 6 movies. I have already heard my sister’s review of "The Others", thank you.

I especially cannot watch a Filipino horror movie. Today’s youth may smirk at the unsophisticated fx and formulaic story of "Shake, Rattle and Roll" but that movie haunted countless of my nights. People say that Kris Aquino’s title "Horror Queen" cannot be surpassed by her many baring billboards. Well, I’ll just have to take their word for it. I prefer to think of Feng Shui as a study of positive energies.

The recent phenomenon of Asian horrors  — the long haired girl which lives in video tapes, the running water, the cellphone call - are the banes of my movie watching. I love watching movie trailers and these scream flicks totally ruined my favourite 15 minutes before the show! Why can’t these countries limit their exports to electronics and telenovelas??

For many years after college and before getting married, I lived alone. My current address and the one previous to this are both located near cemeteries. I believe that I have outgrown my scaredy-cat syndrome. I must admit though that there were times I kept my lights on till morning - usually after inadvertently watching a scary movie.

So, how did a 7th century Spanish archbishop and educator become the patron saint for the Internet?

The Vatican’s Observation Service for Internet, which drew its mission from the Pontifical Council for Social Communications, researched the Internet and related technologies to select a patron saint that best reflects the concerns and ideals of computer designers, programmers and users. The saint chosen by the Observation Service was Saint Isidore.

The proposal for such a move was made in 1999, with Spanish Catholic bishops advocating St. Isidore as the best candidate on the grounds that in the 7th century he produced one of the world’s first databases in the form of a twenty-volume encyclopedia called the Etymologies. He was the first Christian writer to essay the task of compiling a summa of universal knowledge. His encyclopedia epitomized all learning, ancient as well as modern, and in it many fragments of classical learning are preserved which otherwise would have been hopelessly lost.

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Invocation to St. Isidore

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When programs crash and cursors freeze,
with warnings: "fatal error",
our systems drive us to our knees-
can this be cyber-terror,
or mere demoniac possession?
We need some saintly intercession!
Ah, what comfort to implore,
"Pray for us, St. Isidore!"
When files we’ve saved cannot be found
(not even by Outlook),
when viruses and worms abound,
and eat the address book,
when through the Windows data’s flying,
the desperate cyber-slaves are crying,
prostrate on the office floor,
"Pray for us, St. Isidore!"
When "You’ve got mail!" but it’s all spam
(or files that won’t unzip),
when all at once there’s no more RAM,
we start to lose our grip,
and filling with the foulest hates,
we would defenestrate Bill Gates!
"Our charitable hearts restore-
pray for us, St. Isidore!"
When downloads fail, when disks erase,
when life-work’s lost in cyberspace,
remind us in our dire frustration:
The goal here is communication.
"Oh, heed our pleas (but don’t keep score)-
pray for us, St. Isidore!"
–Mary W. Cox
Copyright (c) 2002 Mary W. Cox

Saint Isidore of Seville Sanctus Isidorus Hispalensis

(c.560 - 636)

Proposed Patron Saint of Internet Users

A Prayer before Logging onto the Internet

Almighty and eternal God, who created us in Thy image and bade us to seek after all that is good, true and beautiful, especially in the divine person of Thy only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, grant we beseech Thee that, through the intercession of Saint Isidore, bishop and doctor, during our journeys through the internet we will direct our hands and eyes only to that which is pleasing to Thee and treat with charity and patience all those souls whom we encounter. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Isidore was literally born into a family of saints in sixth century Spain. Two of his brothers, Leander and Fulgentius, and one of his sisters, Florentina, are revered as saints in Spain. It was also a family of leaders and strong minds with Leander and Fulgentius serving as bishops and Florentina as abbess. This didn’t make life easier for Isidore. To the contrary, Leander may have been holy in many ways, but his treatment of his little brother shocked many even at the time.

Leander, who was much older than Isidore, took over Isidore’s education and his pedagogical theory involved force and punishment. We know from Isidore’s later accomplishments that he was intelligent and hard-working so it is hard to understand why Leander thought abuse would work instead of patience.

One day, the young boy couldn’t take any more. Frustrated by his inability to learn as fast as his brother wanted and hurt by his brother’s treatment, Isidore ran away. But though he could escape his brother’s hand and words, he couldn’t escape his own feeling of failure and rejection. When he finally let the outside world catch his attention, he noticed water dripping on the rock near where he sat. The drops of water that fell repeatedly carried no force and seemed to have no effect on the solid stone. And yet he saw that over time, the water drops had worn holes in the rock. Isidore realized that if he kept working at his studies, his seemingly small efforts would eventually pay off in great learning. He also may have hoped that his efforts would also wear down the rock of his brother’s heart.

When he returned home, however, his brother in exasperation confined him to a cell (probably in a monastery) to complete his studies, not believing that he wouldn’t run away again. Either there must have been a loving side to this relationship or Isidore was remarkably forgiving even for a saint, because later he would work side by side with his brother and after Leander’s death, Isidore would complete many of the projects he began including a missal and breviary.

In a time where it’s fashionable to blame the past for our present and future problems, Isidore was able to separate the abusive way he was taught from the joy of learning. He didn’t run from learning after he left his brother but embraced education and made it his life’s work. Isidore rose above his past to become known as the greatest teacher in Spain. His love of learning made him promote the establishment of a seminary in every diocese of Spain. He didn’t limit his own studies and didn’t want others to as well. In a unique move, he made sure that all branches of knowledge including the arts and medicine were taught in the seminaries. His encyclopedia of knowledge, the Etymologies, was a popular textbook for nine centuries. He also wrote books on grammar, astronomy, geography, history, and biography as well as theology. When the Arabs brought study of Aristotle back to Europe, this was nothing new to Spain because Isidore’s open mind had already reintroduced the philosopher to students there.

As bishop of Seville for 37 years, succeeding Leander, he set a model for representative government in Europe. Under his direction, and perhaps remembering the tyrannies of his brother, he rejected autocratic decision- making and organized synods to discuss government of the Spanish Church. Still trying to wear away rock with water, he helped convert the barbarian Visigoths from Arianism to Christianity. He lived until almost 80. As he was dying his house was filled with crowds of poor he was giving aid and alms to. One of his last acts was to give all his possessions to the poor.

When he died in 636, this Doctor of the Church had done more than his brother had ever hoped; the light of his learning caught fire in Spanish minds and held back the Dark Ages of barbarism from Spain. But even greater than his outstanding mind must have been the genius of his heart that allowed him to see beyond rejection and discouragement to joy and possibility.

(FROM Catholics Online)

Just to remove Kris’ face from my main page, I am posting this short story/game/joke (whatever you call it). I knew I was going somewhere with it in terms of story line but I feel that the characters have become way too stupid/absurd that I am declaring euthanasia.

Provide your own title

She: Who had let go first? Not me. I clung to our love to its very last breath.
He: Not me. It was over before I realized she had left.

She: There were betrayals.
He: Harmless flings. I wanted a semi-open relationship.

She: I don’t see why we have to date other people if he claims we love each other.
He: She is my one true love. She knows all about the other girls. But they did not know about her.

She: I can only take so much.
He: She is stronger than she knows.

She: I have given him my everything.
He: I have great needs and what she had — she had given freely.

She: He is my first real love.
He: What we had was precious.

She: I tried to stay.
He: I do not chase after leavers.

She: I do not know when it actually ended.
He: She just up and left.

She: Even now I doubt my going.
He: I would still love her — if she stays.

She: Would have I lived with his faithlessness?
He: Only she knows all my faults and flaws.

She: I remember moments of pure bliss, usually after serious conflict.
He: Nobody said it was going to be easy.

She: Maybe we were just not meant to be.
He: She could have been The One for me.

Proposed Titles - Just add yours.
Ms. Sucker and Mr. Psychotic
Anatomy of a Breakup
Love’s Death: Coroner’s Deposition
An Inevitable Ending
A Convenient Ending
Dysfunctionally Yours

    I was not able to watch ‘The Buzz’ over the weekend but I read this morning that Kris had once again made a drama of her life. 

She reportedly shed tears while discussing the harsh words uttered by Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales.  The dear statesman must have thought that he was valiantly defending GMA when he attacked Cory with the now-famous words "si Kris muna ayusin niya" or something to that effect.

I must say that Kris must have been extraordinarily strong in keeping her pain at bay because not until Buzz went live (5 days after Gonzales words?) did she let the tears fall. It’s either she has developed a strength of character overnight or she really reserves her histrionics when she is on camera.

What bums me out big time is that right after Kris’ award-winning performance, no less than President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo called to apologize to Kris. Oh yes, the venerable madam is again at her apologetic best.

"I-am-sorry" calls were also rained on Kris from DENR Secretary Mike Defensor and the House Speaker’s wife, Gina de Venecia. (Thank God, the Speaker had a mind not to join his wife.) And to cap it all, the now-contrite man himself, Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales, retracts his statement saying that he was "taken out of context".

I can only say - Wow! Look at those contrite people! Such humility!

My hat’s off to you, Kris!! Bow, bow and applauses from all around for Kris Aquino. You are truly amazing!! You were able to humble some of the mighty powers-that-be in this country!!

The last time GMA apologized it was only after a threat of massive destabilization and days of protest marches. For you, it did not take longer than 15 minutes airtime (my estimate of a segment)

I can only wish that we - the silent, suffering taxpayers - had even an inch of your power, Kris. Maybe then, we can also get some form of apology for the fantastically depraved manner by which this government is being run.

But then, hey, who are we to hope? We ain’t got no airtime. We ain’t no prize endorser.  We ain’t no hero’s and president’s daughter. 

We’re just working blokes who have no political ties (because we do not have enough leave credits to join the political bed-jumping and rallying). Our social ties are limited to our families and friends (it’s the most socializing we can afford after the taxes are shaved-off from our income).

Ahhh … good for you, Kris. You get the apologies when you want it. For us here, what little time we have for coffee break or in between the office and home, we can only spend dreaming about what we can reply to GMA (if she asks us the question she humbly asked you last Sunday) - "If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know."

That is so big of GMA.

I have sent this rave note to FOOD Magazine in appreciation of their remarkable publication. I doubt that this will see print in the fan mail section.  Anyhow, am just sharing this with you.

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Dear FOOD Magazine,

Last year, I made a simple request to my husband for my birthday present.  I asked for a year’s subscription to FOOD Magazine.  Knowing that he will eventually be the beneficiary of the magazine, he happily complied.  My birthday is again around the corner and the subscription will soon be up for renewal. There is no doubt that I will continue with my subscription — birthday gift or not.

I particularly enjoy the simple dishes featured in ‘Two-Week Menu Guide’.  I have tried several and they were all good! The notes that come with the recipes are especially enlightening. Other than helping me prepare the dish with confidence, the notes make the experience personal. It’s like having a dear aunt sharing her cooking secrets with me! Having grown up in a family with two working parents, my mom’s truly valuable contribution to my culinary skill is that I must never be afraid to try a dish straight out of the book. I have bought and read several cookbooks but none have inspired me to actually go to the kitchen as much as FOOD Magazine.

Thank you very much, FOOD Magazine! It’s been an enjoyable year!

Sincerely,
Kraznaya Dumotan-Frialde